It’s a pretty regular occurrence that I get in my car to head home, breathe a sigh of relief, and think to myself ‘made it through the day… and it went pretty well.’
Days are good. In the classroom/hallway/lunchroom/team meeting moments, I feel pretty in control of things and like I have a handle on life. Then come the evenings…
Even starting on my drive home, I begin processing. I stop and think about the comments that my colleagues made today, and then I realize that I don’t trust their motivations and don’t want them teaching my children (I get very maternalistic over the students I teach). I remember that the promise I heard from an administrator during the day is something I’ve heard for the last four weeks now without seeing any action. I remember that one of my struggling students was absent again today and then I have to question how she’s going to make the growth necessary when I only see her 3 maybe 4 days each week.
I start to reflect and realize that today wasn’t that good of a day because I didn’t do enough today. I think about all that needs to get done before we take our next standardized test, before the end of the year. I question how on Earth I will take a big enough piece out of that pie, tomorrow, so that we can make it to the end of the year, so that my students can walk into a high school classroom, come August, and be successful.
Yeah, it’s the evenings that are overwhelming.