some realizations I had over break….
-I think I will forever be behind. Of course, I planned on writing lesson plans, and studying, and doing all kinds of things over break…. maybe about a fourth of which actually happened. Somedays it feels as though I will always be making worksheets the night before and throwing together papers the day they are due. I make no new years resolutions because I know what they would be and they are the things I haven’t been able to accomplish for the last 5 months. Still I will continue to work to get more done ahead of time and try to get a healthy amount of sleep. Both are a constant battle.
- I really should figure out what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. When you’re a junior in high school, everyone asks you where you’re going to go to college and what you’re going to study. Most 17 yr olds get really annoyed by these questions because they don’t know. At 17, I already knew. I said for the first time in 2nd grade that I would go to Iowa State. Sure I considered other places, but they never had much of a fighting chance. As a junior in high school, I had answers. Even as a junior in college, I knew I wanted to join TFA, but it was just a matter of whether or not I got in. I’ve found myself almost at that same point, but this time I don’t know. A lot of people both here and at home have started asking what I’ll do after my 2 year commitment. I don’t know. I have thoughts, but I don’t know. This is really the first time in my life that I don’t have a plan. It’s strange. Sometimes it really stresses me out, but usually I don’t have the time to even think about it. However, it was a strange realization over break that I was back in ‘that place’. ‘That place’ of you better figure out an answer to the “what’s next?” question.
-There’s a long semester ahead. Thinking about it makes me sigh and feel slightly overwhelmed. I’m more scared than excited of the stories that I’ll have to tell in the next semester of school. I don’t think that’s good, but I’m hopeful. I know there will be good. I’m just hoping there are more good points than overwhelming points.